The Joys (?) of Being an AMA

Today's guest blog comes from Courtney Sullivan, MWU's Manager of Marketing and new mother-to-be.

Those of you who are parents probably remember that first visit to the doctor's office after you realized you were expecting. It is an exciting moment filled with joy, tempered with the normal anxiety that comes with the responsibility of parenthood. But what happens if you are an AMA? An AMA is the fun new term coined for those of us pregnant women who are "advanced maternal age," or more specifically, we are due after we turn 35. It seems to be a slightly different story for us.

I admit I am one of those women whose life got in the way of having my own family. I am not complaining--it's just the way it worked out. My husband and I got married just over two years ago and since I was already over 35 we decided to start a family right away. Well, for us, right away was two years later. But we were thrilled when that home pregnancy test came up positive. So, off we went to our first doctor's appoint with the same joy and nervous excitement as everyone else. The visit wasn't quite what I expected.

Doctor: Congratulations, you must be so excited!

Me: Oh, yes, we really are.

Doctor: Well, we have a lot to talk about but first let's just take a look to see if everything seems OK.

Me: Ummm. . .OK.

This was followed by an ultrasound where my husband and I teared up at the first sight of our baby and it's rapid little heartbeat. Now we were really excited and happy.

Doctor: Great. The heartbeat looks just where we want it. Now we need to go over some important items.

Me: (beaming through my tears): OK.

Doctor: Now, due to your age, we have to look at a lot of potential issues you may have that we don't worry about in younger mothers.

Don't get me wrong. I actually really like my doctor. She has been my doctor for several years now and is very sweet. But I'm sitting on the exam table, holding my husband's hand, overwhelmed with joy--and then I feel like all the wind is sucked out of my sails. It is enough for any parent to think about the responsibilities involved in having a child. But the guilt I experienced in that moment was incredible. I know that my husband and I will love this child regardless, but did we make a selfish decision to have a baby late in life? Should we have adopted instead? Were we being irresponsible?

I was kind of in a fog as the doctor handed us a list of all the possible risk factors, all the possible genetic issues, and all the possible related tests associated with each of these things. And right then and there she wanted us to decide what testing we wanted. On the positive side, we have good insurance here at MWU and because of my age, all the tests would be covered if we wanted them. But not all the tests are risk free to the fetus. My dreams of a Hollywood-style pregnancy was turning into nine-months of tests, doctor's appointments, and waiting for results.

Thank goodness for my husband, who calmly read all the information and translated it for my numb brain. In the end, we decided on some testing but not all. We refuse to let my "advanced maternal age" make this pregnancy any more stressful then it needs to be.

The first test, a basic blood test for Cystic Fybrosis, has been done and came back negative. There are still more down the road. I'll keep you posted.